I have missed you in the time we’ve been apart. When I look back, when I get nostalgic it’s you I think about, it’s you I miss. Days long gone, but the memories of mouthwatering bliss remain. So, I will do my best, in this lament to you, to invoke all the feels you gave me when you were mine. Please don’t ask me to pick my favorite because I couldn’t if I tried. And I wouldn’t try because there is enough space in my heart and belly for all the delicious sandwiches.
In no particular order, as promised
Pioneer Pies, Longmont, Co– that Monte Cristo fried golden tower of a sandwich dipped in their house made tart jammy goodness. My Mom would take me there for dinner as a treat when my grades were good. Not because getting good grades was hard for me, but it was the sandwich before the proverbial horse that made me want to do the work. Delayed gratification and such, which isn’t the easiest thing for a teen. But I tried my best, most of the time, just to get that sammich! I love you Mom and I miss you more than all the sandwiches!
What’s a Monte Cristo, you ask? Surely, you jest! But if you don’t know and need an artery clogging, comfort making, breakup healing, binge watching on a crappy day kinda sandwich, this is the one for you. You take an already scrumptious club sandwich, 86 the veggies, bathe it in French toast batter and fry till gilded. Add a magic fairy dusting of powdered sugar and a side of berry jam to seal the deal and now I’m salivating. Also, a little tearful, missing our beloved Pioneer Pies. I’d go to Bennigan’s to get my “fix”, but that too is gone from my hood. I hope you can find one near you – Bennigans Monte Cristo.
Sub Factory, Longmont – May you Rest in Peace! But if you would like to come back and haunt me, I’ll take anything. Really truly ANY sandwich! Even my own personal hell of a sandwich, The Reuben. Gag me with your kraut and brown mustard! But “I’d give my right eye” (please don’t ask me to) for my Moving Day special. I’ll have a French Dip with Swiss AND Provolone, along with a VAT of Jus. A bag of Cheetos and a Fountain Coke too, Please and Thank You!
Sub Factory was one of the 1st places I put on speed dial in my flip phone and when MTV ran the “My so-called life” marathon after ABC was dumb enough to cancel it, my friend and I ordered from here not once but twice that day. You can blame it on the dope, but the fact is they just had the best sandwiches in my hometown in the 90’s. That was a great frickin day!
Let’s call it The OG Boulder Deli because the name of the place escapes me but if you remember Crossroads mall in the 90s you probably ate here. It was locally owned, nestled in the corner of the food court next to Sbarro’s Pizza and the Middle Eastern Place that had a 2nd location at Quinn’s on the Hill. Ya buddy, that’s taking it back a few clicks on Mr. Dark’s Carousel. It may not have been pre-Deli Zone, but it was to me. They hit my list with not one but TWO of my long-lost favorites, that’s how good this place was!
The PIZZA SUB. They had the best bread, thin sliced with just the right amount of toasted crusty yumminess. Shaved steak, think Philly cheese meat, gooey Italian cheese and for the WIN, homemade pizza sauce. “It’s not good unless it’s messy” and this WAS MESSY! Extra napkins? Nah! I’m not above licking my chops or fingers in public.
The OG Spicy Teriyaki Chicken sammich entered my life with its sriracha laced sweet teriyaki and mayo sauciness covered grilled chicken, melty provolone, and crisp lettuce atop that craveable bread of theirs. Deli Zone’s version, The China Town, gives me all the mouth feels so thankfully it wasn’t a total loss. BUT it’s only available in Boulder since the Longmont local dropped it from the menu. WTF Longmont? And unless it’s for a sandwich, or an equally good reason, I usually avoid going to Boulder. So, on to the list of the missed it goes.
Deli Zone, Longmont – It was a sad day when that decision was made to drop The China Town (see above). But it was a One Two gut punch when they dropped The GOBBLER from the menu. It was only the greatest Black Friday Leftover Turkey Sammy EVA! Cranberry and gravy along with whatever other sub toppings you want. A quick walk down the lane from work and I was armored up for the madness that is a hair salon during the holidays. And then they went and 86d it! Black Friday indeed. Are you listening Deli Zone? There’s still time to right the wrong!
Murphy’s Bar and Grill – still around in south Boulder but I’m talking the OG 28th and Iris locale. The recipe changed so my version is gone. I can make a decent rendition – GF these days. It’s not quite the same but it’ll do. Slow roasted turkey, salty scrumptious bacon, fresh smashed guac nestled in crispy lettuce, with Havarti on multigrain bread. There are 2 reasons I survived a Saturday at the salon during prom and wedding season – Murphy’s for lunch and the promise of happy hour at the end of the day.
No sprouts, no Ums, no Salvaggio’s – Roast Beef on a hoagie so there’s leftovers – 2nd breakfast if you know what I mean. White cheddar, mayo, YELLOW mustard (not brown cause EW!), lettuce and EXTRA pickles. No sprouts – no problem. No more Salvaggio’s – tale as old as time for the restaurant industry. The owner didn’t pay his employees and likely his vendors, so they deserve to be shuttered. I support local whenever I can but if that’s how you run your business, then I can’t and will not support it.
Chelsea London Pub and Grill – Chicken bacon ranch! Most people would say the Albuquerque Turkey but not this girl. Give me that flat top grilled French bread after it’s taken a ride on the melted butter wheel of goodness w grilled chicken breast, crispy oven fried bacon, melty Swiss and the BEST HOMEMADE BUTTERMILK RANCH EVER!!!! I made 25 gallons of this ranch every week when I worked as a line cook and I still make it the way I was taught. So, when I say the best, I mean it! I could replicate this if I only ate chicken and roast turkey just ain’t the same, so it stays in the land of lost sandwiches.
Let’s talk about Grilled Cheese, Baby.
Round the Corner – I literally worked around the corner. Give me a cup o’ soup and this nummy sammy on a rainy day and all was right with the world. That goes double for the “I shouldn’t have drank last night” workdays. The only thing missing was a nap.
And then there was the DOUBLE grilled cheese fit for a Hoodoo Goddess! Yes, I said double. As in 2 grilled cheese sandwiches sandWITCHing southern BBQ brisket. Holy mouthful! I don’t know what genius of a Chef at the NOLA Superdome came up with this, but if you’re single, message me!
That goes double for whomever can replicate the Grilled Cheese from the movie Chef. I’ll even provide the link to the recipe. I now understand what those movie makers mean when they say, “money shot”. It’s triple X food porn, plain and simple!
Honorable Mention
FAMILY AFFAIR Breakfast Burrito because Burritos are sandwich adjacent. Come @ me if you disagree. I double dog dare ya!
This bad boy is beloved and mourned by many a Longmonster! And Family Affair deserves a NOBEL PRIZE for smothering a meaty eggy cheesy hangover killing savor Bomb with GREEN CHILE AND COUNTRY GRAVY! Are you kidding me? Sheer fucking genius! They certainly weren’t the last to double-smother, but I’d bet the farm they were one of the first. I miss you most, Scarecrow!
And to all the sammiches who still need a loving home – Hold on, I’m coming!
You hear me, east coast lobster roll?! I’ll see you this fall, starting with Yankee Lobster in Boston. Butter or Mayo? Is that a rhetorical question? Is YES, an appropriate response? I really should get one (or a few) of each so I don’t become biased.
But until New England, I’ll be hungover and happy at the Longmont Farmer’s Market this summer with the OH SO GOOD scallion pancake breakfast sandwich with crispy chili from Rising Tiger. I can’t wait to watch them WIN the upcoming season of The Great Food Truck Race!
And when I make it back to South Park, because I likely won’t make it to Philly anytime soon, you will find me in line at Otto’s on Hwy 285 for one of the best AND ONLY Cheese Steaks I’ve had in a decade! I will most certainly Eat at Otto’s again and again and again!
And finally…To my precious, my love, my impeccably dressed fried catfish po boy! Thanks for always being here for me and never letting me down!
All my love, until we eat again.
